What to do when life lacks purpose
Illustrations by Holly Fardnell
“Purpose.” It’s a word we see everywhere in articles and podcasts and it’s central to self-help creators’ go-to advice, largely finding it. But what if you’re convinced you don’t have one? Mental health struggles can make that sinking feeling even stronger, as though life might swallow you whole. It’s like you’re underwater — wanting to breathe but wondering if it’s worth reaching the surface because… what’s the point?
Why do we feel this way?
Humans are social beings by nature and genuine connections and relationships are what drive us to feel like we belong, like we matter. We want to feel seen and heard. Social isolation harms both our bodies and minds, shaking our sense of worth and self-perception. A lack of reciprocity in relationships can leave us feeling unwanted or invisible.
Our experiences with our parents, guardians, teachers, friends, love interests, and colleagues shape our self-image and worth. Traumatic childhood experiences can leave a lasting impact on our sense of self. “The criticism, belittling, and degradation that are characteristic of emotional abuse can result in a person feeling as though they have no value and that their life has no meaning,” says Megan McConnell, LCSW and founder of Inner Abundance Counseling.
On top of personal wounds, constant exposure to war, poverty, and climate disasters can make the world feel unlivable. Helplessness can make our lives feel meaningless.
Clinical depression intensifies these beliefs, distorting how we see ourselves and our future. “In most cases, trauma precedes depression, and when it is not successfully addressed it leads to depression. When our fight or flight system has been dysregulated for a long time and we feel that we can't be healed, it can cause people to feel a lack of purpose,” says Shauna Springer, trauma expert and chief psychologist at Stella.
Depression often feeds feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and shame — leaving life looking bleak and unchangeable.
Grief, abuse, breakups, financial stress, and unmet goals can all deepen that sense of meaninglessness. With so many forces pulling at our sense of self, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed or aimless. But meaning isn’t always something you “find” — sometimes it’s something you carefully rebuild.
Understanding why we feel this way is only part of the picture. The next step is figuring out how to navigate life when it feels meaningless.
How to cope when life feels meaningless
When everything feels taxing and pointless, searching for a “purpose” can make things worse. That’s the time to extend yourself grace — easing expectations, lowering stress, and validating heavy emotions.
Sometimes the key isn’t trying to erase pain but learning to live with it. “It can be helpful to shift focus away from ‘eliminating this pain’ and focus more on what are some valuable ways you can live your life even though you have this wound,” says Sarah Rizvi, PhD and trauma therapist.
Don’t expect perfection. Feelings don’t follow schedules. Doing your best while accepting the rough patches can help. Take inventory of your reactions: Do you take things personally or react impulsively?
“One way to work on emotional impulsivity is through mindfulness practices and grounding techniques. Therapies such as cognitive behavior, acceptance and commitment, and dialectical behavior therapy can help you know your triggers, identify distorted thought patterns and with emotion regulation,” says Sandra Kushnir, LMFT and CEO at Meridian Counseling.
As you practice these tools, you gradually start to rebuild self-trust — and protecting that self-trust is just as important as developing it. This often means learning to set and maintain healthy boundaries so you’re not constantly depleted by others. Boundaries aren’t walls — they’re a way of preserving your energy and dignity while still staying connected.
At the same time, connection matters. Practicing empathy and taking responsibility in relationships can help you maintain closeness without sacrificing your well-being.
“Empathy is key. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Once you’ve identified your role in the conflict, apologizing sincerely is crucial. Instead of saying, ‘I'm sorry if you felt hurt,’ a more responsible apology is, ‘I'm sorry for my actions and how they impacted you. I take full responsibility for that,’" says Kushnir.
One easy method that can improve well-being is helping others. Small acts of service — walking a neighbor’s dog, giving a genuine compliment, or volunteering — can restore a sense of meaning.
Small acts of service anchor you in the present, and revisiting good memories can reconnect you with moments when life felt rich. Noticing even small glimmers can reignite a spark of passion for life. Remember: Hope and meaning are yours to reclaim.
To start, McConnell recommends exploring these questions in a journal to uncover patterns and small steps toward meaning:
When did I start feeling as though my life has no meaning?
What was happening in my life around that time?
Do I always feel this way or do these feelings come and go?
If the latter, what tends to trigger feelings of meaninglessness and what tends to ease them?
How do I define what a meaningful life is or involves?
To what extent does my present life align with my definition of a meaningful life?
Are there action steps I can take that would narrow the discrepancy?
What makes me feel fulfilled?
When was the last time I felt truly alive or connected?
What values guide my decisions and actions?
These reflections won’t change everything overnight, but they can help you gently map a path back to meaning — one small step at a time.
Vartika Puranik is a journalist, social media expert, copywriter, content strategist, and writer.
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