Turns out, it is possible to harness FOMO (fear of missing out) for good. With balance, FOMO can transform into healthy JOMO (joy of missing out). The urge to be present everywhere can overwhelm us because it’s often fueled by anxiety or pressure. Instead, true JOMO means choosing the commitments we genuinely want. It’s not about opting out of everything, but about resisting the pull of unhealthy FOMO that pushes us toward everything everywhere all at once.

Deborah Gilman, Owner & Chief Licensed Psychologist at Fox Chapel Psychological Services, said, “The constant desire to be everywhere and do everything can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a sense of missing out on the present moment when we constantly try to keep up with everything.”

Research on JOMO has primarily focused on its association with personality traits and mental health conditions. But if we adopt JOMO as a preferred state, and shift our focus from commotion to stability, we can live more peacefully and be more present.

Saying yes when we truly mean it is satisfying, because we’ve chosen it wholeheartedly. This doesn’t mean sweeping our “curious cat” instincts under the rug. But when we force ourselves into unwanted social scenarios or overload on unnecessary information, our perspective becomes clouded. “Directed attention fatigue can result from prolonged exposure to stimuli that require intense focus, leading to cognitive overload and diminished well-being. By reducing cognitive load and minimizing distractions, we can immerse ourselves fully in meaningful experiences,” says Gilman.

Prioritizing meaningful experiences is one of the key components of genuine JOMO. Reveling in chosen adventures and savoring every moment heightens our well-being. A 2019 study on “prioritizing meaning” shows that meaningful experiences can amplify life satisfaction, happiness, positive emotions, sense of coherence, gratitude, and a sense of purpose. Gilman adds, “Humans are motivated to fulfill a hierarchy of needs ranging from basic physiological requirements to self-actualization. Prioritization helps us address higher-level needs by focusing on activities that align with our values and goals, allow us to reclaim our time, energy and autonomy, and embrace true desires and boundaries.”

Making ourselves available all the time can also result in social burnout and exhaustion. It’s important to evaluate what actually deserves our attention. Removing (or even reducing) the pressure to be omnipresent can offer comfort. On the flipside, disregarding our values, or even directly contradicting them, can feel like a loss of control, which can lead to frustration and resentment.

Kristen Suleman, licensed therapist and founder of The Therapy Space PLLC, warns, “Being available all the time will crash and burn us eventually. It can feel so freeing and we’d be more engaged in our daily life when we understand we don’t have to say yes to everything out there because it’s not possible or sustainable. Being intentional and selective about the commitments is a form of self-care.”

It’s great to build new connections and meet up with people, but if we can’t fully invest in those relationships, we risk fatigue. Intentional JOMO can be a more natural approach, one which organically helps us nurture existing relationships, increase engagement, and find more time for new people. Carl Nassar, LPC, CIIPTS and CEO at The Great Culture Lab, notes, “Missing out on what we never wanted in the first place brings us back to our natural rhythms. We can engage in relationships with a commitment to do the things that really matter and authentically catch up.”

Change with growth is significant. JOMO offers us introspection – time to examine negative traits and appreciate positive ones. It can help shed old patterns. “JOMO gives us intentional time to understand ourselves, what matters to us, the space to identify our own wants and needs instead of catering to everyone else’s expectations all the time. It allows us to be self-aware and make better choices that reflect our true selves,” says Suleman.